Free writing opens the mind

Today is my birthday. I am 36 years old today. With every birthday, as I get older, I find myself reflecting on what has transpired and what I want for the future. I’m married (been for 5 years), to a great guy I would not trade for the world. Thinking of the “First comes love, then comes marriage….” It’s just the third part that is a work in progress. I know the old sayings, Good things come to those who wait, or Everything happens for a reason. I try to build my values on the latter. I just wish I knew what that reason was. Just when I think I do, something happens to try to change my perspective. Sometimes I believe I think too much. I’ve always thought of the What If’s instead of just letting life happen. I guess I just have to put my thoughts to a more productive use. Instead of wishing and dreaming, I need to think of a plan on how some of those can actually happen. It’s difficult to talk out loud about it because when my mouth opens, my brain can’t catch up and it seems like I talk in tongues. That’s why I thought about writing. I tried keeping journals, both the book kind and online. I just never found the time to do it before. It’s pretty bad when the journal I bought from the bookstore starts collecting dust. But since I can’t really talk out loud without sounding crazy, I guess this is the next best thing. One thing I’m always telling people is that it’s not good to hold things in. I guess I need to take my own advice. Writing (typing) in a blog or journal is much like leaving a voicemail on someone’s phone. Since there is nobody physically there to directly listen to you, you tend to babble. But if that’s what it takes to get my thoughts out to make room for new ones, then so be it.

I find myself listening to the Christian music stations a lot lately. I’ve loved the music for quite some time. But I usually mix my daily music with various genres. Apparently, I feel I need more inspiration these days. I think I just need to make the time to slow down and reflect on things. I want to start making that a daily habit, rather than occasionally. That way, my posts won’t be monthly rants a few pages long.

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